So much can happen in five years…
Five years ago we had two grandsons… and were waiting for one more!
We were in limbo…both of us between jobs, figuring out where God was leading us as we sailed into our fifties.
Our parents fragile… my hubby’s mom had died a year before; his dad in a care home… my dad very ill and my mom fragile, fighting her own cancer battle.
And on a chilly Sunday morning, I woke up to a heart attack.
This was five years ago, today, as I write this on March 13, 2016.
So much has changed!!
Sometimes it is in the hardest of things,
the not knowing,
one has to surrender to the moment.
I remember arguing with the doctor that morning this couldn’t be… no, I was care-giving for my parents, going to school, babysitting when I could… there simply was NO time for a heart attack…
But the heart crashed anyway, and my heart… and me… needed to pay attention.
So there I was, in the ICU ward close to my dad, also in the ICU ward, contemplating my life, and celebrating a birthday in the hospital. It was quite the week.
Today, I am so grateful.
The heart-attack, serious at the time, left little damage. I now know the regimen of heart pills, and the importance of taking care of myself.
I have entered into work I love, feel called to, and wouldn’t be doing with such passion if I had not experienced the dark days of my own difficult health, and of being present to my own family members in hospital, and hospice.
I have the joy of being present on this earth to witness little miracles… grandchildren… and the eighth will come in May!! And I, not a great lover of air-travel, will jet across the country to meet this little person, because being present in those moments is a precious gift.
The hardest things in life often teach us the most.
And every year, at this time, I remember. I am glad to be alive, and to be living well. My life is filled with joy and gratitude, although not exempt from sadness. For that is the way of life.
I’m grateful for the lessons of the heart… to slow down, to pay attention, to live life full of gratitude. For each day, is a special gift.