My heart has been sad this week, on many levels, and as I was reflecting on some of this, this past weekend, these words came to me.

I grew up believing Christians should be happy victorious people or something was wrong with them.  It was a deeply flawed way of thinking, part of the culture I was part of.

As I have sat with many who suffer, and have gone through my own difficult challenges, I have come to appreciate the laments of King David and Job who dared to ask the hard questions.  I often refer people to Psalm 13, a wonderful Psalm where David pours out his heart… and ends with trust… trust that God is faithful, even in the hard times.  Yes, I too have come to that place…

So my ponderings this last few days:

Sometimes I want to cry
I do.
And if I emptied myself
of all the tears
It would not be enough.

for even my small
of the world.

seems to come in

Those I love
Friends I care about
Those I meet

Tear-stained mothers
on my TV screen
over their lost children.

Some-days it is too much to even

Come to me
Jesus said

I go

Knowing that my God
  can handle my questions

And hold the pain.

We can come
come as we are

Holding hands open.

And find rest
  for our souls.

-July 2016

Psalm 13
How long, Lord?  Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, Lord, my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say “I have overcome him”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
and my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise
for he has been good to me.”
– a Psalm of David

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