It is hard to admit when one is afraid.  It can be seen as a sign of weakness, by others, by our own self-judgement.

There are a lot of declarations out there – and a lot of “fear-mongering”, another term that seems to be gaining in popularity.  While I don’t want to be ruled by fear I had the astonishing self-revelation the other day, that I was afraid of certain things.

I don’t think I am alone.  There is fear of this virus, especially for those who are immune compromised, for our elders, for those who work in public places.  There is fear of financial difficulties and all the ramifications.  There is fear of challenging relationships where people we love, people we work with, friends and families, have opposing views.  We cherish those relationships and this causes tension.

One thing I am learning is to pay attention, and even though it is vulnerable, to be honest about how I am feeling.  It is how I process those feelings, whether they be fear or anger or depression . . . can be healthy or unhealthy.  If this were a mental health exercise, I would say we need to talk about these things.  We need to listen, to be kind, to be compassionate.

I’m thinking today especially of those going back to school.  For some it is an adventure and they are not afraid.  Others are sick with worry.  They are in my thoughts and my prayers as I write this.

I wrote this poem as I was pondering these things:

When I Am Afraid

I am afraid sometimes.
To admit it,
this is risky,
but with truth and
vulnerability
it is true.
     There is no desire for
     defence
     or even apology.
     Fear is a human response
     to danger,
     to uncertainty
     Even to being
     misunderstood.
When I am afraid
I can feel ashamed
because there are voices
that say we should
NOT be afraid.
     Fear can turn to
     anger.
We are a fragile lot
these days.
     When I am afraid
     I can choose.
I can choose to be compassionate
to myself,
To others.
     I can choose to tell the truth.
     I can choose to seek wise counsel.
     I can choose to find safe refuge.
     I can choose to pray, often.
     I can choose to be thankful.
     I can choose to be kind to those who think differently than me.
     I can choose to fill my thoughts and heart with good things.
     I can remember that God loves me still, and is with me always.
When I am afraid
I will trust in You. (Psalm 56:3)
When I am afraid

When I am Afraid

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