Thirteen years ago, on March 13, I woke up with the oddest pain under my arms and an intense restlessness I could not escape. I did not know I was having a heart attack.
We finally ended up in the ER, and it took them a bit to figure it out too. But my bloodwork told the story. Like many women my symptoms were atypical but the diagnosis real and scary.
I wake up today, thankful.
I was in the middle of schooling then and was able to complete my diploma in Spiritual Formation.  I went on to become a chaplain, the most rewarding work.  It stretched me and blessed me.
Once you experience a heart attack, life changes. I am more aware, sometimes anxious if I feel things that are not normal.  I live with taking daily medication which I am thankful for, but wish I could be without. Travel insurance companies don’t take a risk, my premiums are high.
But again, I am overcome with thankfulness for we have been able to travel, many times, and it has brought us joy and filled our lives with sweet memories.
It is part of my life, this memory, part of who I am.  And I’ve come to know that the physical heart and the emotional heart are so very connected.  My heart has been full, it has been bruised and broken, it has been full of joy.  We hold things in our hearts.
“Guard my heart”, is a prayer I often pray.  God has been good to me.  I pour out my heart often, and can be honest with my Creator.  God knows my heart well.  I am loved, even in my brokenness.
it is a day to remember and give thanks.

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